dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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