holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
my poor anus
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
