He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
