The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
