He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
