two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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