That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
