butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
