i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
