Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
