Dual....:-)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
