North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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