remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
