Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
