I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize