You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
