I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
