Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
there's paper in my vomit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
