fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
