Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
