Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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