chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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