Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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