I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
