I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
