Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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