"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
