she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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