with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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