he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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