You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
