No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
