its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
