So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
