you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
