so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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