By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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