Whod you bang
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
