We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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