Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
