she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can I color on your dick again?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My bed smells like the plague
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