i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just had sex on a roof
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
