Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
