You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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