Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize