Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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