We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
