By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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