my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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