I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
