Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
