so that wasnt chicken after all
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
