i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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