i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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