Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
