I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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