At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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