I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
are you so shy because you have an std?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
