I puked a lego.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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