I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
