the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
