Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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