My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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